Patrick Star: Undercover Hater
12H Synastry: The House of Hidden Enemies
Video transcript published Thursday March 23, 2023
Patrick Star is a f*cking hater. He’s a fake ass friend, and I have the receipts to prove it.
In Astrology, the 12th House (12H) is the part of the birth chart that deals with all things hidden. That includes hidden enemies. It’s anything that’s concealed away, anything in a disguise, or anything undercover (that includes undercover haters, or haters who are disguised as your friend).
Cut to clip from Spongebob, where he is in a moment of confusion and isolation, then sees a giant pink blob on the bench of the bus stop.
Spongebob: “...and now… giant piles of bubble gum!? Oh what next!”
Patrick’s face emerges from the pink blob, when he proclaims “Hi Spongebob!” He was lurking.
If someone has planets that fall into your 12H, it might feel a bit like Spongebob and Patrick’s relationship.
For example, when Spongebob simply had bad breath but Patrick made him believe it was because he was ugly.
Spongebob: “I just don’t get it!” (his bad breath fog moves in towards Patrick’s face, but is reflected away because Patrick has no nostrils).
Patrick: “I don’t either… Maybe it’s the way you’re dressed.” [UNDERCOVER HATER]
Spongebob + Patrick: “Nahh.”
Patrick: “Maybe it’s your voice.” [UNDERCOVER HATER]
Spongebob: “Hahahahaha, that’s a good one Patrick!”
Patrick: “Well maybe it’s just because you’re ugly.” [UNDERCOVER HATER]
Patrick: “Here, try the reflection test…”
Spongebob says “hi” to his own reflection. The scent of his bad breath penetrates the mirror, and his reflection shatters the mirror on purpose to escape the stench.
The 12H is connected to your subconscious, so if you have a fake ass friend planting these subconscious seeds, they can actually make you believe things about yourself that aren't true. The mirror shattered because of the smell, not because of his appearance. This perfectly illustrates the “distorted” reflection or perception we may have in 12H experiences and relationships.
Cut to clip of Patrick walking towards Spongebob’s pineapple house, while thunder and lightning crash around him. The 12H can be viewed as being caught in a thunderstorm. In the 12 letter alphabet, a system where the 12 houses correspond to the 12 signs, the 12H is connected to Pisces and its traditional ruler Jupiter (Greek: Zeus), ruler of thunder + lightning, flooding, and the depths of the ocean; as well as its modern ruler Neptune, the god of the Ocean and all nautical nonsense. One of the most common phrases in Spongebob is “Oh Neptune!” a declaration of “Oh my god!” Neptune is a literal character in Spongebob, who appears in the feature length film.
The 12H is also associated with dreams (also ruled by Pisces and Jupiter/Neptune). Patrick barges into the dream-like setting of Spongebob playing his creepy organ in the depths of his secret library. This setting is symbolic of Spongebob’s subconscious and the darkest emotions he has repressed. Because of the suspected 12H synastry between Patrick and Spongebob, Patrick is able to access Spongebob’s most intimate subconscious state and see him in his rawest most vulnerable state.
Spongebob, depressed: “No one would want a friend as ugly as I am!”
Patrick: “Sure they would! It makes them feel better about the way they look!” [UNDERCOVER HATER]
Spongebob: “How long? How long have I been ugly, Patrick?!”
Patrick: “As long as I can remember…” [UNDERCOVER HATER]
Exhibit B [of Patrick as a hater]: When Spongebob and Patrick got stuck in Rock Bottom together, and Patrick f*cking ditched him!
Patrick: “I want to go home!”
Spongebob: “Okay. You wait for the bus, call me if it comes. I’m gonna get a bus schedule.”
Spongebob begins to walk to the bus terminal for a schedule, when suddenly the bus speeds past him, with Patrick hanging out the rear window of the bus.
Patrick: “Hey Spongebob! The bus is here!” [UNDERCOVER HATER]
The bus speeds off, leaving Spongebob in the dust as the maniacal laughter of Patrick echoes back at him.
In a past video, I used Rock Bottom as an analogy for the 12H: the most isolating, coldest, darkest, scariest experiences where you’re lost and far away from home.
Possibly the most diabolical of them all is Patrick blackmailing Spongebob with drunk photos from the Christmas party. The whole premise of this episode is just Patrick getting off on the fact that Spongebob doesn’t know that he’s a f*cking hater.
Spongebob, referring to the “secret” Patrick has been taunting him with all episode: “I shoulda known! It was just a piece of string all along. Hahaha! Wait ‘til I tell Gary!”
Cut to Patrick, who is under his rock, holding his secret box: “Muahahahaha! Good thing he didn’t pull the secret string… opening the secret compartment of my secret box… revealing one embarrassing snapshot of Spongebob at the Christmas party!!” [UNDERCOVER HATER] “Hahaha! Merry Christmas Spongebob!”
If you have someone in your life who’s acting weird and they have planets that fall in your 12H, this is probably what is going on.